Pull your flesh out from underneath your sits bones

When working out, I am pretty no-nonsense. I want to feel the burn. I want to sweat in a manly way. I want to feel like I am going to throw up... and then swallow it.

Here are some things I don't want: I don't want anything to remind me that I am not gorgeous. I don't want to chit-chat. And I don't want to work out with celebrities, even though doing so is part of the tough truth of LA. I didn't think there was anything worse then putting on spandex leggings and a tight top then standing next to Drew Barrymore, until the other day...

I took a class with no celebrities in sight. I felt the burn, threw up and swallowed. Everything was going great. Then during cool down, as I was relaxing and stretching the instructor said, "now pull your flesh out from underneath your sits bones and stretch."

My "sits" bones? First of all, that is not a saying. Secondly, is she telling me to spread my ass cheeks? Just say that: "Spread your ass and stretch." Don't make up a phrase. Don't talk about me "pulling my flesh." That sounds even grosser than saying butt. We are adults. Just say butt.

Anyhoohaw Will Do

My best friend's mom was an aerobics instructor in the 80's. Having recently undergone a hip replacement surgery at 56, she learned the unfortunate costs of such a life. I introduced her to my boyfriend last week. She screamed, "Oh my god, he is a miracle!", and proceeded to tell us story after story using the key transitional phrase "anyhoohaw".

Being from Michigan has many perks. Anyhoohaw is one of them. Not only does it sound incredible in a Michigan accent (try it at home), it has two equally awesome meanings.

1) eh'-nee-hoo'-ha: a slight variation on the phrase 'anyway.' Not a real word.
2) 'eh-nee-hoo'-ha: any-old-vagina.

#2 is how no one intends it, but, rather, how I always hear it.

Like the popular chain's "Wahoo's" fish tacos (rude) or the simpler "Pink Taco"... Anyhoohaw is a thinly disguised vagina. And I applaud it.

Still clapping.